How To Practice TRUE Self Love.
A lot of the time we think of self love as getting a massage or going to the spa, and while this is lovely, it’s not quite whole.
The google definition of self love is: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
So a trip to the spa means nothing unless you truly love yourself and are maybe doing that as a celebration of that love; otherwise it’s simply a bandage hiding a belief that you aren’t worthy.
It can take time to develop a loving relationship with ourselves, one built from the inside, but it’s time well invested.
Let us also address a common concern or confusion around self love; it is not an expression of narcissism.
Loving yourself doesn’t equal being a jerk to others.
In fact you may find loving yourself allows you to show up with genuine authenticity in your life. You might start setting and holding boundaries that will decrease your sense of resentment and overwhelm, allowing you to be more generous and thoughtful when it’s right for you, and decreasing frustration and snark in your life.
Self love is doing things that truly gives you a sense of joy.
Sometimes these things have been lost on us over the years. Sometimes we have been criticized or made to feel that loving ourselves is unsafe. Sometimes we stop because we are so focused on being in service to others, constantly doing for the people around us, that we let ourselves slip behind a curtain.
So we need to reconnect and rebuild in order to pull back the curtain.
Because loving ourselves is not only a gift to ourselves, but a gift to the people around us.
To the people we love. Because we are more present, open, and authentic.
We’re also showing them that it’s ok to love themselves. And as a mother, there’s nothing I want more than for my kids to know that who they are is whole, complete and lovable, and that it’s ok to love themselves and put themselves on the list.
If you experience:
Toxic relationships.
No clarity around what YOU want or like in your life. Or the inability to say what you want or need, or trust your intuition/gut.
Overworking in order to gain validation.
Seeking affirmation from outside sources.
People pleasing. Believing that being in constant service to others will make you worthy and deserving of love.
Identify as your work, not as an individual.
Unable to take time for personal needs.
Constantly busy.
Lacking ambitions and dreams from a place of not feeling “worthy” or “good enough” to even have them.
Feel the need to put other people down and act superior to others.
…you may be in need of a self love practice.
I recognize that some of these may be uncomfortable to acknowledge, and that’s ok. You’re not alone.
If you think one or more of these might apply to you this is a great place to be, because there are simple actions and rituals we can take to develop more self love!
Below is a quick introduction to one of my favourite practices, and one that has transformed my own ability to love and accept myself.
If you feel this is something you want to explore further, please reach out using the application below, and we can schedule a free 30 minute discovery coaching session.
Gratitude Used For Self Love.
This is a gratitude practice based entirely on you, your body, your life, things you have accomplished in your life, things you feel proud of…
All that is required is a notebook and the willingness to sit with yourself for a few minutes each day, and explore your greatness.
If this feels hard for you I suggest starting with your organs, they are amazing and quite neutral. It also a sign that this might be essential for you to do.
While this seems simple and fairly basic, it’s anything but.
It’s challenging and the outcomes are powerful.
When we slow down and learn to love ourselves, we open the doors for a life full of possibility and potential.
Having a hard time with this? Contact me below for a free, no strings attached session so we can explore it further.
Kindness for a million days,
Gwen
